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Nothing makes you pine for LA traffic more than being in a city that has traffic jams on the sidewalks. Traffic? Hanoi laughs at your LA traffic.

Today as I was walking or trying to walk on the sidewalks of Hanoi, I was slapped on the back by a woman who thought I was walking too slow. Rather than do what I would normally do back in LA, I just shrugged it off instead of turning around and saying "WTF? WHO ARE YOU SLAPPING? AND WHAT TURNIP TRUCK DID YOU FALL OFF?"

I was a visitor to their country, the last thing I wanted to do is import my behavior; so I held back and shuffled a bit faster.

The sidewalks here are clogged four deep with parked motor scooters, the top choice in transportation since public transportation is non-existent and cars are too expensive. To maneuver around you have crawl over scooters or shimmy sideways through the dense forest of wheels and greasy mufflers. Some scooters hold up to four family members, from baby, mom, dad and sis.

The sound on the street is an experience, an aural surround sound of such magnitude that Michael Bay is like new age massage music compared. Each scooter, car and truck have distinct Philip Glass-ish tonal musical horns, and with the sounds of the mufflers, you have this cacophony of sound that drills into your head like a jackhammer. I am guessing after a few weeks you would get used to it, but after a few hours I was longing for the solitude of my home. If I could measure the decibels it would rate above a Slayer concert and put them to shame.

I used to complain about how long it takes to cross town in LA, but after Hanoi, I am happy as pie to sit in traffic. To appreciate what you have, you have to leave town and experience true gridlock on a massive city wide scale that has no near term options.

Image: Ophelia Chong / Elephant Feet, Saigon
Hanoi Scooters
Hanoi Family on a Scooter