The Most Extreme Foods At The State Fair, 2015 Edition

From July 10th through the 26th, the California State Fair will take over the Cal Expo in Sacramento. It's the 162nd official state fair, and this one promises to be unique in a few ways. Paul Rodriguez is headlining the comedy offerings, Ashanti is the musical act, and the fair will be the site of the U.S. National Drone Racing Championships, which sounds awesome.
But if none of that sounds to your liking, don't fret, potential fairgoers. As usual, there will be a number of moderately-disgusting, over-the-top culinary offerings that will have your mouth watering and your stomach raising the white flag. So, just like we did last year, let's go through the most insane foods making a debut at this year's fair and track the fall of our civilization!
In no particular order:
Bacon-Wrapped Corn on the Cob
Imagine corn. Now, imagine it's on the cob. Pretty good, right? It's tasty, has a distinct crispness when you bite down, and is extremely easy to hold. Nearly a perfect food. No improvements necessary.
Except! Now, I want you to take that image, and wrap a bunch of bacon around it.
This is what we're being gifted by the folks at The Bacon Habit, a Sacramento-based business that's made its name by taking food and putting bacon on it. Last year, it was a churro "soaked in Jack Daniel's bourbon, wrapped in bacon, barbecued, and served with maple syrup and whipped cream on top." This year, they have this bacon-corn thing, and also deep-fried, bacon-wrapped chocolate New York cheesecake.
Deep-Fried, Wood-Fired Pastrami Pizza
Cardinali's Family Concessions is responsible for this monstrosity. It's a deep-fried pizza crust, topped with pastrami, mozzarella, sauerkraut, and red onions. And then it's all put into a wood-fired oven and topped with mustard sauce. As Tony Cardinali told the Sacramento Bee:
One judge described it as 'a Reuben sandwich hit by a steamroller.'
Which, frankly, sounds like a mess. Hooray!
Pork-a-Bello Mushroom Kebab
Here's another offering from the aforementioned Bacon Habit, something you can kind of trick yourself into believing is a diet food if you squint at it just right. See: It starts with a skewer of eight white mushrooms. That's somewhat healthy! That counts for your veggies for the day! But, alas, they're stuffed with smoked Gouda and then -- say it with me, everyone -- wrapped in bacon and grilled.
When the aliens finally wormhole into our atmosphere and examine the remnants of our long-extinct civilization, don't be surprised if they happen upon a 2,000-foot tall monument devoted to a great and lost god that went by the name "The Bacon Habit."
Deep-Fried Peanut Butter and Jelly Cheesecake with Bubblegum Frosting
This is courtesy of a vendor called Sweet Cheeks, a long-time favorite at the fair. (Their specialty back in 2012: Deep-fried Pop-Tarts.) Honestly, there's not much else to say beyond the description. The whole thing -- whatever it is -- is right there for you, in bold, above.
If this is just too decadent for you, they're also offering deep-fried, bacon-wrapped peanut butter cups. So, have at those as well.
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Seeing as it doesn't seem right to simply give you nothing but junk, here are some other worthwhile events taking place at the fair as well.
- Camp Smokey is an exhibit focused on lessening the threat of fires, both at home and in our beloved forests. It may seem like it's just for kids, but c'mon, adults will learn something too.
- The California Counties Exhibits showcase the best qualities of each of the 58 different counties of our state. Admit it: You didn't know how many counties were in California until just a second ago.
- Despite the above-listed foods, this year's fair is attempting to focus on healthier, more natural offerings. For example, the fair is holding its first-ever olive oil competition. So, seek that out if you're not into basically giving someone money so they can buy a bigger fryer for next year.