How to Talk About the Texas School Tragedy With Young Children

As the shock of Tuesday's news about the elementary school shooting at Robb Elementary School in Uvalde, Texas, reverberates through our schools and homes today, we again find ourselves navigating how to support our children with understanding, processing, and coping with such a difficult topic. The truth is, there is no one-size-fits-all way to do this. Depending on your child's age and exposure to the details of the events, they will have varying degrees of developmental readiness to engage in a conversation. In these moments, it is important to be aware of what your child may be hearing or know about what happened and to have the tools to support their mental health and your own. If children ask questions, even the extremely difficult ones, we want to be prepared to address their concerns and process the difficulty together.

If you find yourself talking with your child about the recent tragedy, below is a list of resources to help you. As we navigate these conversations together, Los Angeles County Superintendent of Schools Debra Duardo, MSW, Ed.D. reminds us to "take care of ourselves and one another and act with sensitivity, compassion, and empathy."

• PBS KIDS for Parents: Grown-ups can help their kids navigate difficult times by encouraging them to share what they already know, listening to their questions and offering simple, age-appropriate information. "Helping Kids Navigate Scary News Stories" focuses on those three areas. In "Helping Children with Tragic Events in the News," Fred Rogers Productions, with a little help from Daniel Tiger, also reminds parents to limit TV consumption, offer extra comfort and practice self-care because children are keenly aware of how their parents feel.
• Sesame Street in Communities: Informed by community partnerships and engagement efforts, Sesame Street in Communities offers a collection for children and families directly affected by violence in their own neighborhoods. Families will find more than two dozen games, videos, articles and resources on the "Community & Gun Violence" page.
• KQED MindShift: Child development experts weigh in on "War, Crisis, Tragedy: How to talk with kids when the news is scary" about what parents, teachers and other caregivers can do to help prepare and protect their little ones from scary news, including school shootings. Grown-ups can also hear about how a community in Richmond supports kids "who've experienced trauma, especially from violence" on the "Mindshift: Community, Trauma, and Helping Children Heal" podcast.
• Common Sense Media: While young children might have trouble understanding the gravity of news events, hearing about them could still impact them emotionally. "Explaining the News to Our Kids" offers some age-based ideas on how to talk with kids — and how to listen as well. Common Sense Media also has a list of mental health apps and websites for kids experiencing anxiety and depression, plus tips on how parents can get professional support.
• The National Child Traumatic Stress Network: The "Parent Guidelines for Helping Youth After the Recent Shooting," and its Spanish version, la "Guía para los padres para ayudar a los jóvenes después de un tiroteo reciente," offer guidance on how parents can help their children after a shooting. Published in 2014 but as relevant today as ever, this fact sheet describes common reactions children may have, how parents can help them and self-care tips after an event.
• National Association of School Psychologists: Young children need simple information and reassurances that adults are there to keep them safe. Find more tips and conversation prompts for kids of different ages (from early elementary school to high school) on "Talking to Children About Violence: Tips for Parents and Teachers" (available in English and Spanish).
• Child Mind Institute: While you can't guard your children against grief, you can help them express their feelings and teach them how to navigate fear, advises Harold S. Koplewicz, the founding president and medical director of the Child Mind Institute, in "Helping Children Cope With Frightening News."
• American Counseling Association: It may feel counterintuitive, but taking care of yourself first is of extreme priority to be of better service to your students and your community. Counselors and educators can find more resources in "Coping in the Aftermath of a Shooting."
• NPR: An expert from the UCLA-Duke University National Center for Child Traumatic Stress shares practical tips on how to recognize trauma in kids — whether they experienced something traumatic firsthand or not — and how to help them recover in "Uvalde school shooting is another reminder of children's feelings and trauma." She also recommends "Once I Was Very Scared," a book about how a little squirrel and other animals cope with difficult feelings. It is available to download for free in many languages, including English, Spanish, ASL and more.
• PBS SoCal: Find tips on how to stay calm when your kid isn't and how to help kids manage their emotions through the arts and kid-friendly yoga.