This talk explores how alchemy, often dismissed for its perceived "failures" to create elixirs of immortality and gold in laboratories, actually offers a powerful lesson: failure can offer more creative, cooperative, and magical ways of being in the world. Alchemists like Hennig Brand, John Dee, and Lady Isabella Cortese may not have succeeded in their literal quests for the elusive elixir of life or the transmutation of lead into gold, but they sparked something greater than their original goals. Drawing from Jack Halberstam's "The Queer Art of Failure" and the history of alchemy, we will examine how missing the mark can open up exciting new ways of being alive. We will conclude with a simple ritual to honor our own beautiful failures. This talk is open to anyone, regardless of their level of experience with alchemy.